By Maddie Stuart, European Union Studies, 2013
1.) Some of their rules will seem silly—you still have to follow them.
After being in college for two years and having been used to my relatively laid back parents prior to that, it was kind odd to be living under someone else’s rules. I wasn’t used to being responsible to anyone but myself so living with my host parents has been interesting—I sometimes feel like I’m on guard to make sure I don’t forget anything! Of course there’s basic things I do differently like not forgetting to turn off lights and remembering to clean my room that I should should probably be better at doing while living in my apartment at school!
The other things though (mostly reasonable requests) just require a bit more effort than I’m used to! I have to tell them if I’ll be home for dinner on a chalkboard every night and I have to ask to use the washing machine (and rarely get to use the dryer if I can hang my clothes dry!). When I’m in the living room, I can’t put my feet on the couch and if I try to load the dishwasher and do it wrong—forget about it! I have to close doors if I’m not in a room (especially the bathroom) and I can only lock the front door to the house if I leave and no one else is home (but should leave it unlocked if I’m home). Given all of this though, I know that I’m living in someone else’s home so I absolutely respect that—they are all just extra things I’ve had to be mindful of!
2.) You will get to learn firsthand about their culture.
Living with a host family has introduced me to nuances of French culture that I don’t think you can really understand otherwise. In the IPD program, you take a class to learn about French culture, but that all seems kind of distant until you see it close up. In that class for example, we learned about French nationalism and their uncomfortable relationship with their huge Muslim population. How better can I understand French nationalism then, than by hearing my host mom remark on her distrust of some aspects of Islam at dinner? That was so interesting to hear brought to life!
On other subjects too, of course, this has been the case. When I talk to my host father (who is a doctor) about health care in the United States, I can get a real perspective on public health in France. When I talk to them about my trip to Normandy, I begin to understand how the Second World War really affected things in Europe. Just being in their house in general I get to bear witness to the family dynamic and you really can’t fully understand any of these things until you live with them
3.) You will learn to eat (and enjoy!) a lot of new foods.
Before studying abroad, I’d always considered myself a pretty picky eater. When I was younger it was like pulling teeth to get me to eat my vegetables and while I came to tolerate some foods, I’d still never really liked “different” foods in general. Coming to live with a host family, though, has completely changed how I view eating food. Where before I would only choose to eat what I liked, I’ve understood that not eating the food that my host mom makes would be insulting—especially since I know that she works hard to prepare all of our meals!
This change started right from the beginning—I was more concerned with not being clumsy (and hiding my embarrassing American manners) to even really notice what the food tasted like. So far, this has meant eating scrambled egg casseroles with green peppers, pizza with salmon, lamb with tomatoes, and trying to figure out just what is so great about Dijon mustard. Not to say that I would not have eaten those things back in the US, but I certainly would have done so with more hesitation. I’m not sure exactly why, but after eating these types of food every night (and now that I’m not quite as concerned with impressing my host family) I can say that I actually enjoy the food at meals! Living with my host family has opened me up to many different kinds of foods and now I even think it’s kind of fun to be surprised at dinner! I’m sure my mom would be so proud!
4.) (If you aren’t fluent) the language barrier will be frustrating.
I think it’s difficult for my host family to really get to know who I am because of the language barrier. My French has been pretty bad since it’s been so long since I took it and I can see their frustration when I don’t understand what they are saying. I know that they don’t actually think that I’m unintelligent, but it’s so hard to convey real thoughts and opinions when you can’t speak the language well. I know that they know that I’m a nice person, but it certainly gets very difficult to go beyond that. I will concede that part of this might just be because my French wasn’t good to begin with, but I imagine this would be the case at least to some extent, regardless of your level of French.
At the end of the day though…
5.) You come home to people who care about your well-being.
You are in a strange place with a strange language and it can be kind of overwhelming. Although the some things are a bit difficult, in the end, it’s so nice to have someone on your side. If I have a question about the best way to get to the airport or what the best places to go in Paris, I have the perfect resources right at my disposal!
Little things, like my host family knowing that I like (read: love) chocolate and saving me a cup of chocolate mousse or buying Special K after they find out that it’s my favorite cereal, have gone a long way to make me feel loved. One morning, my host father drove me to school when I thought I was going to be late and when I went on my first big trip, my host mom bought some pastries for me to eat on the Megabus! They both check up on me to make sure I’m happy and enjoying my time in Paris and it’s so sweet! Even despite our differences in language and culture, they reach out and I reach out and in the end, we meet in the middle and I wouldn’t change anything about my living situation!
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